There’s No Need To Be So Spicy!

I own and run a herbalist shop, wherein I sell my own fire cider. For those who don’t know, fire cider is vinegar mixed with spicy herbs and plants; some people take it during flu and cold season. It’s the only product that I personally make in my store, and it is something I am very proud of. It is, however, not for the faint of heart. The flavor is quite powerful!

One day, a customer comes in and samples a few things around the store before she comes to my fire cider.

Customer: “Can I try this one, too?”

Me: “Sure, though I should warn you that the flavor is very strong. How do you do with spicy things?”

Customer: “I love spicy foods!”

I take out a sample cup and pour her a sample. The cups aren’t even shot-sized; they’re pretty small. I also hand her a cup of water to wash it down. She drinks the fire cider and immediately starts coughing, sputtering, and then screaming.

Customer: “Did you just poison me?! My tongue and throat are on fire!”

Me: “Drink the water I gave you! I told you it was spicy!”

Customer: “I’m going to sue you! I’m going to get this whole place shut down for poisoning me!”

She throws her empty sample cup and half-full water cup at me before rushing out of the store. As she leaves, a couple comes in.

Man: “Is everything okay?”

I start to wipe water from my shirt and try to force a smile.

Me: “Yep, she just didn’t expect how hot her sample would be!”

She never came back, and I was never sued, of course.

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