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There’s No Disputing Their Stupidity

, , , , | Right | February 22, 2021

I work the customer support line for a bank.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How may I assist you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I just wanted to dispute this charge on my account that I don’t recognize.”

That’s not unusual; tons of people call in for this reason.

Me: “Not a problem. May I have the amount and the description?”

Customer: “It’s for [amount] and it’s called, ‘NSF CHARGE,’ and I didn’t make that.”

Oh, God, here we go.

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that is an insufficient funds fee, which you incurred because you did not have the funds available to pay for a transaction on [Website] yesterday.”

Customer: “I don’t get it. I didn’t make that charge.”

Me: “You didn’t make the charge on [Website]?”

Customer: “No, I did, but I didn’t make that… NFS or whatever it’s called.”

Me: *Pause* “It’s a fee that you received because you couldn’t pay that item.”

Customer: “But my account isn’t supposed to overdraft!”

Me: “Right. And it didn’t, which is why you received the fee.”

Customer: “I’ve never gotten this charge before.”

Me: “Correct; this is your first insufficient funds fee because you’ve always had the funds to pay for your purchases in the past.”

Customer: “But I’ve never had one. When did you guys start doing that?”

Me: “We’ve always charged this fee.”

The customer laughs, and then says condescendingly:

Customer: “No, no, no. No, you haven’t.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure we have. Every bank has this fee.”

Customer: “Can you refund it?”

Me: “Unfortunately, because it is a legitimate charge that caused the fee, we cannot refund it.”

Customer: “But I’ve never had one before.”

Me: *Pauses* “And that’s because you’ve always had the available funds to cover any purchases.”

Customer: “Soooooo, is that a no?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we can not refund it.”

Customer: “You have been no help.” *Click*

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