There’s No Cash Flow To Their Brain

(We are a small, locally-owned jewelry store. We’re pretty low-tech and appreciate payments in cash. This customer is purchasing a piece for roughly $300.)

Customer: “I want a discount.”

Me: “Okay… I can offer you a 10% discount if you pay in cash.”

Customer: “Great, so I can pay you with a check?”

Me: “No… Cash.”

Customer: “So, I can pay you with a debit card?”

Me: *stares* “No. The cash discount is for cash.”

Customer: “You mean actual cash?!”

Me: “Yes, paper money.”

Customer: “But I’m from California! How am I supposed to get $300 in cash?”

Me: “There’s an ATM in the store next door.”

(The customer proceeds to huff for a few minutes, pretending that she won’t buy the piece. Then, she decides to pay with a credit card. I ring her up, for the full amount.)

Customer: “I thought you said you would give me a cash discount!”