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There’s Drunk, And Then There’s This

, , , | Right | March 17, 2023

It’s St. Patrick’s Day, so no matter where you are, or whatever your heritage, everyone is Irish, and everyone is out to get drunk. As a result, our bar is crazy, and it’s all hands on deck. A drunk man from an equally drunk group of men comes over to the bar, and eventually, they get to me.

Drunk Customer: “I’m Irish!”

Me: “That’s great! Did you want to order!”

Drunk Customer: “Do you believe me?”

The customer is Asian, with an American accent. I stress that because I did once meet an Asian man with an Irish accent, so I never judge a book!

Me: “You can be whatever you want to be, sir. Are you ordering?”

Drunk Customer: “I’m Korean-Irish! My name is Paddy Kim!”

Me: “That’s great, Paddy! I don’t think I can serve you, though.”

Drunk Customer: “What?! Why not!”

Me: “If you don’t want the bar staff to think you’re too intoxicated for a drink, maybe it’s best not to make them ask what you’re ordering three times with no answer.”

Drunk Customer: “Oh… I’ll just have a Guinness.”

Me: “I’m not serving you alcohol.”

Drunk Customer: “Guinness has alcohol?!”

Me: “Then I’m definitely not serving you alcohol.”

He wanders over to his friends looking confused. I brought them all water when I had a moment to spare, and I could hear him muttering to his equally confused-looking friends.

Drunk Customer: “I thought it was like… a really weird Irish root beer…”

Today is St. Patrick’s Day! Get your fix of more St.Patrick’s Day-themed stories with our St.Patrick’s Day Themed Roundup!

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What is the absolute most stupid thing you’ve heard a customer say?

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