There’s A Special Hell Reserved For People Who Talk In The Movie Theater

, , , , , , | Right | November 2, 2018

(I’m working opening night of “Deadpool,” taking tickets. After the first twenty minutes of taking tickets, I give up warning people with kids that this movie is NOT for children. A family of four — a mom, a dad, and two boys about six and eight years old — come in with tickets for — you guessed it — “Deadpool.” While tearing their tickets I tell the dad:)

Me: “Sir, just so you know, this movie has a hard R-rating.”

(As expected, he just sneers at me, holding out his hand.)

Father: “Just do your job and shut your mouth'”

(I give him his stubs and direct him to his auditorium. After about twenty minutes, my manager asks me to make theater rounds, where we walk into each auditorium during the show to make sure there are no problems with the film, and to check for recording devices, feet on seats, etc. He specifically mentions the “Deadpool” auditoriums because he’s getting complaints that someone’s kids are being loud and the parents are ignoring other patrons’ requests to be quiet. Dreading dealing with this guy because I’ve got a pretty good idea who it is, I go into the nearest showing. Sure enough, it’s the dad from earlier, who’s now arguing with the people behind him, who have just asked him to quiet his kids. As he’s telling them to mind their own business, the woman in front of him stands up, turns around, and yells:)

Woman: “Listen up, you sorry piece of s***! I’ve waited twenty-five years and one day for this movie, and I’m not going to let it be ruined because you’re a piece-of-s*** parent, so either shut them the f*** up or get your f***-trophies the f*** out of here!”

(Before the dad could pick his jaw up off the floor to respond, the entire packed auditorium started cheering and clapping. The family got up and left without saying a word. The kids looked dazed, and the dad wouldn’t look anyone in the face all the way out. Red-Haired Lady in the Deadpool shirt and leather jacket, I don’t know who you are, but you are my new hero!)

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