There’s A Special Circle Of Hell Reserved For Him

, , , , , | | Right | May 31, 2019

(I work in a bookshop where we have two large windows at the front. We create really elaborate window displays, all instructions passed down from corporate. People will often ask for things out of the window, even if they are on display in the store. One day, a middle-aged man marches in and points to the window.)

Customer: “I want the book in the bottom corner of the window. Get it for me now!”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t get you that specific book, as it’s at the foot of the tower, but I have plenty in the stockroom. I’ll go get one now.”

(I walk away and go into the back to find the customer’s book. It’s a huge hardback of Dante’s “Inferno” with all the pictures, so whilst we have one on the shop floor, it’s a display model. Even if it wasn’t at the bottom of the pile, I have to go to the back for a real copy, anyway. I take two minutes max. We are not a big shop. When I get back, the customer is nowhere to be seen.)

Me: “Hey! [Coworker], have you seen the guy that wanted the illustrated Dante?”

Coworker: “He ran out of here like his a*** was on fire! I have no idea why!”

(Like his a*** was on fire? Close. What had actually happened was that he had tried to squeeze into the small doorway to the window and snatch the book so he didn’t have to wait. He then knocked the entire tower into the HOT lights illuminating them. We didn’t notice until the entire display was in flames about five minutes later. The front of the shop was ruined and the bookshop had to close for six months.)

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