There’s A Lot About This Situation You Would Like To Change

(We have a regular who always likes to complain or cause a fuss about something or other, whether it’s the meal, the staff, or even the presence of other customers! This day she comes in with a friend and is suspiciously nice about everything. I think maybe she’s finally decided not to rile us anymore when she comes to my counter to pay for her £1.47 in items and hands me a £20 note. It’s been a busy day and I haven’t had a spare moment to top up my change yet and consequently have maybe £3 in 20p coins as the largest metal denomination and no £5 notes.)

Me: “I’m really sorry but I’m very low on change at the moment, since it’s been a busy day. Would you have anything smaller at all?”

Customer: “No! I only have this £20 and I really want change from it!”

Me: *glancing at my already behind list of orders and crying on the inside* “Would you mind if I quickly get some change from the office then?”

Customer: “Well, I’d really like to get going soon, but if you HAVE to—“

(I run like the wind to the office and dig out the remaining change that we have, which doesn’t include notes. I run back, not even bothering to put the change in through the till as this would waste the customer’s precious time and she’s already finger-tapping on the counter with an all too familiar expression.)

Me: “Right, I’ve found some change but I’m afraid there aren’t any £5 notes so it’ll have to be all in coins unless… Are you sure you don’t have aaaaanything smaller?”

Customer: “No. I want change!”

(I count out her change, using up almost half the change I’ve just collected. I see other customers looking impatient as this process means their drinks orders are getting further and further behind. I then look with pure horror as the customer opens her wallet, revealing two £5 notes and a MOUNTAIN of change that jingles heavily when she throws the new change on top of it.)

Customer: *to her friend as she walks out, not even thanking me upon leaving* “You can never have too much parking change, you know!”

(The other customers then complained that their drinks were taking too long and I had to have a jolly good frustrated swear in the bathroom after that!)