There Will Be No Sweet Surrender

I work at a fruit and smoothie bar.

Customer: “Is there any sugar in the fruit?”

Me: “Do you mean added sugar?”

Customer: “No, I mean, does fruit have sugar in it?”

Me: “Yes. All fruit naturally contains sugar, ma’am.”

Customer: “But there’s not supposed to be any sugar in fruit! What are my sugar-free options?”

Me: “With natural fruit? There aren’t any.”

Customer: “Well, I want sugar-free options, and if you’re not going to provide them, I’m just going to go back to Jamba Juice, where they respect a customer’s preferences!”