There Is No Policy Against Karma

(I work at a cell phone kiosk and have been selling a new cell phone to a snooty and entitled customer. She has been rude the entire transaction but is thankfully finishing up her purchase.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, we’re almost done. Would you like some insurance on the phone? We have a plan where you can pay an extra $7.00 a month to secure your phone, or you can pay $95 upfront to have your phone insured for any damage — not covering loss or theft — for two years. It’s more money upfront but less in the long run.”

Customer: “Do I look like I need insurance?”

Me: *not realizing there was a look of someone not needing insurance* “I suppose not, ma’am. Here’s your phone and have a wonderful day.”

Customer: *already on her phone* “Yeah, yeah.”

(She turns on her heel and then immediately trips over from the turn and the phone slips from her grip, shattering the screen completely. It’s all I can do not to burst out laughing.)

Customer: “MY PHONE JUST BROKE! WHAT DO I DO NOW?!”

Me: “I could sell you a new phone?” 

Customer: “Do you honestly think I’m going to spend another $700 on another phone?!”

Me: “With the insurance, it only would’ve been $30.”

Customer: “Fine, let’s do that.”

Me: “I’m afraid you already declined the insurance and I just saw you break the phone yourself after the transaction was complete; there’s nothing I can do.”

(The woman screeched for a manager and tried to claim I’d broken her phone. The security cameras — which are from every possible angle — showed right away what had really happened. She threatened to call the police but nothing came of it. I have yet to see her return to the store.)