There Is No Immunization From Entitled Patients

(During my daughter’s first well-child visit after bringing her home from the hospital, I have what I think is a pretty standard question for the pediatrician:)

Me: “Can I ask you about vaccinations?”

Doctor: *gets this look on his face like he’s worried he’s about to be yelled at* “Um, okay?”

Me: “When we have scheduled vaccinations, can you give us a schedule for when various immunizations are scheduled, what they’re for, and what sorts of signs we should be looking for in a potential reaction?”

Doctor: *relaxes noticeably* “Oh, yeah. In fact, that’s all in the printout and if you want, we can talk through it at each visit.”

Me: “You looked like you were afraid I was going to go off on you or something. Does that really happen?”

Doctor: “You have no idea.”