There Is A Disturbance

A customer approaches me at the customer service desk.

Customer: “I am disturbed.”

I wait a moment, but no more information seems to be forthcoming.

Me: “What is disturbing you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I am very disturbed! You have membership discounts.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, our store does offer discounts on some items for members of our loyalty scheme.”

Customer: “I am disturbed!”

Again, I wait. Again, nada.

Me: “What do you find… ‘disturbing’ about our membership discounts, ma’am?”

Customer: “I need to give you my name to become a member! And my email!”

Me: “Yes, being a member requires you to have an account.”

Customer: “That’s disturbing! I shouldn’t have to be confronted with such assaults on my identity!”

I admit that it takes me a second to overcome the intensity of the customer’s word choices.

Me: “You don’t have to become a member of our loyalty scheme, ma’am.”

Customer: “That’s disturbing! I am entitled to the same discounts as anyone else without having to sacrifice my identity to your store!”

Me: “If you like, you could always send in a complaint to our Corporate office.”

Customer: “How do I contact them?

Me: “Well, the quickest way would be email—”

Customer: “That’s disturbing!

I gave the customer a physical address and they finally left… their level of disturbance unknown.