There Are Verse Places To Work

(Our office is filled with IT people, which means we may be working odd hours or away from the office. As a result, we keep each other updated through email. One of my coworkers has worked late one night, and discovered her car had a flat tire. This is how she informed our office that she’d be late the next day:)

Coworker #1:
“A large metal rod has been found,
In between my car’s wheel and the ground.
Though the car’s not at fault,
The dramatic result,
Is the tire is no longer quite round.”

(I am the first to read the email. I feel I have to respond appropriately… in haiku.)

Me:
“When road debris strikes,
There is but one thing to do:
Curse the parking lot.”

(This opens the floodgates.)

Coworker #2:
“I feel for you and I believe you’re wronged,
And blame your car for wheels are not its strength.
I would go on in this same vein at length,
But on my desk my daily tasks are thronged.”

Coworker #3:
“Blame not the victim of dread circumstance,
Are you at fault should something prick your toe?
The tire is deflated enough by chance,
Puff it to round and watch [Name’s] best car go!”

(The CEO of our company then joins in, who is not to be outdone.)

CEO:
“The happy tire revolves the live-long day,
Never to give [Name] cause for slightest care,
But meeting rod, is punctured; losing air,
Becomes a cause of grief and great delay.

And now the tire that once was round and gay,
Is flat and [Name] must seek for quick repair.
She takes her car a new direction where,
She finds relief but fears the price to pay.

For tires purchased must installed be,
And lo the seller will total cost:
Not just for tire but all the special care,
To balance, mount plus tax, recycling fee…
Gives cause to ponder all that has been lost,
Not seeing rod in road and driving there.”

(Finally, after getting her tire fixed, the first coworker sends a short message.)

Coworker #1: “I pity my friends who work at ‘normal’ companies with ‘normal’ people.”