There Are Many Degrees Of Intelligence

(I work in a large retail chain store. Head office has sent us booklets on loss prevention, and every employee is required to read the whole thing and sign off on it.)

Me: “Wow, can we really do that?”

Manager: “Do what?”

(I point to a section of the booklet that explains we can place shoplifters under citizen’s arrest.)

Manager: “No. You don’t do that here.”

Me: “But these directions came from head office.”

Manager: *laughs* “Oh, [my name], you slay me. Those morons never know what they want! If you actually tried to arrest a shoplifter, we would get in all sorts of trouble.”

Me: “You mean in case the shoplifter tries to sue us?”

Manager: “I’m not too worried about that, actually. I’m more worried about the head office guys chewing us out for ‘poor’ customer service.”

Me: “So, we were given directions that were important enough to require signing off on, but we CAN’T follow them.”

Manager: “Correct.”

Me: “And the geniuses who came up with this nonsense earn way more than our salaries combined?”

Manager: “Also correct.”

Me: “I suppose they’re also more educated than I am?”

Manager: “Intelligence and education are two very different things.”