Theocracy Hypocrisy

(I’m agnostic. I have a friend who identifies as Christian and is very uptight about religion when around me. I have just finished a conversation with another agnostic friend at our lunch table.)

Friend: “[My Name], don’t talk about that stuff with me.”

Me: “I was talking with—”

Friend: “You know it’s offensive to my religion. I can’t believe you’d talk to me like that!”

Me: “When did you become [Other Friend]?”

Friend: “Stop it. You’ve already said you’d respect my religion. Start doing it.”

Me: *giving up* “Fine, whatever.”

Friend: “Thank you. Oh! Also, I wanted to give this to you.”

(She hands me an invitation to an Easter church service.)

Friend: “I’d like it if you’d go with my mom and me. We think it would be good for you.”

Me: “…”

(This hypocrisy continued for three more years until we had a falling out, with her never seeming to realize exactly how she was acting.)