Their Plans Were (S)quashed

(Just because we thought it was funny, Coworker #1 and I would call each other silly nicknames when we passed each other in the main aisle, using a tone of mock flirtation. He’d use something common, and then I’d make an exaggerated response.)

Coworker #1: *to me* “Hey, Muffin.”

Me: “Hi, Cinnamon-Raisin Bagel with Cream Cheese.”

(Later that same day.)

Coworker #1: “Lookin’ good, Pumpkin.”

Me: “Well, hello, Butternut Squash.”

(Suddenly, Coworker #2 leans out of a nearby aisle, looking slightly annoyed.)

Coworker #2: “Would you two fruits knock it off?”

Coworker #1: “Wait, is a pumpkin a fruit?”

Coworker #2: “Actually, I think it’s a legume.”

Coworker #1: “I thought those were beans.”

Me: “[Coworker #2] thinks I’m a legume!”