Their Pink Dollar Is Not Worth As Much

(I work for one of the major energy suppliers in the UK. I get a call from a customer who hasn’t paid his bill for three years. He’s gotten away with it by setting up arrangements he never kept, booking appointments to fit a prepayment meter that he either called to reschedule at the last minute and then never remade, or just outright cancelling the appointment the day before. We have been given a warrant and are set to go to his property at the end of the week. As you can imagine, the customer is very unhappy.)

Customer: “Why did you get a warrant? Are you going to take my stuff? You can’t do that!”

Me: “We won’t remove your things; they’re not bailiffs. We need the warrant to gain access to your property to install a prepayment meter—”

Customer: “NO! I don’t want one. Cancel it!”

Me: “The only way I can cancel it is if you pay your balance in full today.”

Customer: “Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Me: “Very much, sir. The balance has been outstanding for three years now with zero payment. I can take a card payment over the phone.”

Customer: “No. I’m not paying. Besides, this is discrimination!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You’re bullying me because I’m gay!”

Me: “I can assure you this is not the case. Besides, how would we know you were gay?”

Customer: “No, you are picking on me! You’re sending people to my door because I’m gay! That’s discrimination and I’m going to sue! I shouldn’t have to put up with this!”

Me: “Sir, are you saying you should be exempt from paying your bill because you’re gay?”

Customer: “No, I’m saying you shouldn’t send me all these nasty letters and send people to my house!”

Me: “Sir, those letters were sent because you haven’t paid us anything for three years yet you have continued to use energy. We send them to all customers who don’t pay.”

Customer: “Well, I’m telling you now, you can’t come to my house. It’s private property. If you come without my permission, it’ll be counted as trespassing and I’ll sue.”

Me: “We have a warrant issued by a judge; therefore, we have permission.”

Customer: “The judge only gave you that warrant because I’m gay! That’s discrimination.”

Me: “Sir… I can assure you this is not the case. For one, even if judges were allowed to do this, they would have no way of knowing you were gay. You would just be a name on a piece of paper along with hundreds of other names.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want the meter. I’ll wait in and I won’t let them in.”

Me: “The warrant gives them permission to get a locksmith, which will add further charges to your account. It even allows them to request police assistance which, if required, would add yet another charge onto your account.”

Customer: “Oh, so, now you’re admitting you want to put charges on my account because I’m gay?”

Me: “No, sir. These would-be charges have nothing to do with you being gay. They are only if we require a locksmith or police intervention, not because of your sexual preference. Now, are you going to pay the balance, or are you going to wait for them to fit the meter at the end of the week?”

Customer: *pause* “I’ll pay now. But I’m going to complain! You can’t discriminate like this!”

Me: “I can assure you, sir, that [Company] couldn’t care less about your gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation; we just care that you pay your bills. Now, let’s sort out that payment.”

(The guy paid his bill in full, which was almost £2,000, all the while rambling about how gay people were constantly persecuted, how this would not stand, how he would go to the news and the papers, and how he was going to sue us for discrimination.)