Their Mind Is An Isolated Island

(We are in our GCSE History class.)

Teacher: “As you can see in the caption, this photo was taken in Kent—”

Student: *deadly serious* “Is Kent in Essex?”

Teacher: *not thinking she’s serious* “No, [Student], it’s in Kent.”

Student: *looks at photo* “Does Essex have a beach?”

Teacher: “Yes.”

Student: “Oh. I thought it was just Cornwall that had beaches.”

(The teacher pauses, then points at the giant world map we have plastered across the wall.)

Teacher: “[Student], if you look at England on the map—”

Student: *stares blankly at the map* “Miss, where’s England?”

(Around half of the class collapse into hysterical laughter at this point. The teacher picks up a giant inflatable globe and brings it over to point out England.)

Teacher: “Look, there’s England, and all around here is the coast. Most of that is made up of beaches.”

Student: *dawning comprehension* “Oh.”

(She then catches sight of the North Sea, which is labeled as such, and points excitedly at it.)

Student: “That’s the English Channel!”

Teacher: “That’s the North Sea.”

Student: *disappointed* “Oh.”

Teacher: “At least you’re not taking GCSE Geography next year.”

Student: *brightly* “It’s my second choice.”