Their Leaving Is A Blessing

(I’m showing one of my rental properties to a prospective tenant. She has looked over the apartment and everything seems to be going well. After I give her the run-down on the lease terms and whatnot, she suddenly turns.)

Prospective Tenant: “And have you had this place blessed for good fortune?”

Me: “Um, well, not really. Any religious ceremony you’d want to conduct for yourself is okay, so long as it is within the rules of the building. Bringing a religious priest, pastor, or elder in for a blessing would be fine, but things like burning incense or sage would be problematic since they might disturb the other residents of the building with the smell.”

Prospective Tenant: “Oh, no, I don’t believe in any of that voodoo stuff. I was just curious if you had a priest bless this place for your good fortune.”

Me: “I’m not particularly religious myself, so if this place has been ‘blessed,’ it was only by the occupants. Again, if you want to do a blessing, that’s fine, so long as it isn’t disruptive to other residents in some way.”

Prospective Tenant: “Well, that’s not ideal, but I suppose I can arrange for a pastor from my church to come bless this place and talk to you about accepting Jesus.”

(At that moment, she’s walking out the door to the apartment and spots the mezuzah my current tenants have hung at the door.)

Prospective Tenant: “AND WHAT IS THAT?”

Me: “I’m not entirely sure of its meaning, but as far as I understand, it’s a custom for Jewish people to hang that near the door. Don’t worry; they will remove it and patch the small holes from hanging it when they leave. They asked about hanging it, and since it’s no different, damage-wise, than a picture or whatnot, I said it was fine. Again, the holes will be patched and painted before you move in.”

Prospective Tenant: “I can’t walk under that mark of the devil! Take it off the wall! NOW!”

Me: “Um, you walked under it to come in the door, and it’s a simple piece of wood. If you don’t believe in its ‘power,’ walking past it shouldn’t do any harm. I am not going to yank that off the wall without proper tools, as I’d likely do a lot of damage to the wall trying to do so. So, let me see you out…”

Prospective Tenant: “NO! I am not going to knowingly pass through a door marked by the devil. I didn’t know when I walked in, but now I know, and I can’t walk through that door until you remove it!”

(Long story short, after I continued to refuse to pull it off the wall without any tools, she called her pastor and he told her it was okay to exit so long as she prayed to Jesus while she was “passing under that unholy mark.” Needless to say, her application wasn’t approved.)