Their Intent To Apply

(A job seeker comes in looking nice, wearing a crisp suit and tie, and seeming to have everything together. In my opinion, this is a perfect choice for the job he is applying for in minor management. Halfway through his application:)

Applicant: “I have a question.”

Me: “Sure, what’s up?”

Applicant: “It says here, ‘Have you ever been convicted of a crime?’”

(Now, I’ve heard this before, and I expect the usual explanations of speeding tickets, or some other minor crime that we really don’t care about.)

Me: “Yeah?”

Applicant: “What about if you’ve been charged with one?”

Me: “Uh… depends, I suppose. What charge, might I ask?”

Applicant: “Trafficking, and possession with intent.”

Me: “I… I’d just list that.”

(Needless to say, we didn’t hire him. Apparently, he was out on bond and had just left court when he decided to apply.)