Their Complaints Are Volumetric
(I manage a local coffee shop. Recently my boss bought a second location, and I have been managing the transition. We hired a bunch of new staff members. None of us know the regulars.)
Employee: “[My Name], can you help me with this customer? I can’t seem to get her double-cream coffee right.”
Me: “Oh, boy.” *I go up front and greet the customer* “Hey, how are you?”
Customer: *flapping her arms, fists clenched* “This is outrageous!”
Me: “What is?”
Customer: “The music! It’s too loud!”
(Here I’m thinking it’s a problem with her coffee. I turned on the music in the morning and, considering that we have 90% elderly customers in the morning hours, I left the music on a decent volume with a genre catered for their age group. I can barely hear it.)
Customer: “You are going to drive your customers away. You don’t even hire your staff properly; she can’t get my coffee straight.”
Me: “I personally put the music on the morning and did my walk around to ensure the volume was fine. As for my staff, it’s [Employee]’s second day on the job.”
Customer: “I’m going to make sure I write to the home office, and tomorrow I’ll bring my son in to talk to you.”
Me: “Sure, that’s fine; I’d love to meet him.”
Customer: “You shouldn’t say that’s fine! That’s not a manager thing to say!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m trying to help you.”
Customer: “Have you put the volume down yet?!”
Me: “No, I’m still here talking to you!”
(She left, stating she’d never be back, but she is still in, making my life Hell, every morning.)
Question of the Week
What is the absolute most stupid thing you’ve heard a customer say?