Their Complaints Are Volumetric
(I manage a local coffee shop. Recently my boss bought a second location, and I have been managing the transition. We hired a bunch of new staff members. None of us know the regulars.)
Employee: “[My Name], can you help me with this customer? I can’t seem to get her double-cream coffee right.”
Me: “Oh, boy.” *I go up front and greet the customer* “Hey, how are you?”
Customer: *flapping her arms, fists clenched* “This is outrageous!”
Me: “What is?”
Customer: “The music! It’s too loud!”
(Here I’m thinking it’s a problem with her coffee. I turned on the music in the morning and, considering that we have 90% elderly customers in the morning hours, I left the music on a decent volume with a genre catered for their age group. I can barely hear it.)
Customer: “You are going to drive your customers away. You don’t even hire your staff properly; she can’t get my coffee straight.”
Me: “I personally put the music on the morning and did my walk around to ensure the volume was fine. As for my staff, it’s [Employee]’s second day on the job.”
Customer: “I’m going to make sure I write to the home office, and tomorrow I’ll bring my son in to talk to you.”
Me: “Sure, that’s fine; I’d love to meet him.”
Customer: “You shouldn’t say that’s fine! That’s not a manager thing to say!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m trying to help you.”
Customer: “Have you put the volume down yet?!”
Me: “No, I’m still here talking to you!”
(She left, stating she’d never be back, but she is still in, making my life Hell, every morning.)