Their Brains Aren’t Running At Full Tilt

| Working | June 19, 2013

(I’m 13 and have been in a motor vehicle accident. I’ve been bedridden for nearly four weeks and have just had surgery on a broken leg. I’ve also had abdominal surgery and two cracked vertebrae, which requires a back brace whenever I am out of bed. I can barely sit up without support, let alone stand or walk, and I am under very strict orders to not put any weight on my broken leg. On this day, I’ve been all trussed up and taken to x-ray to see how the back brace is working. I’ve already almost passed out once on the way down from being unused to sitting upright, and the nurses have left me parked several feet from the x-ray machine.)

Resident #1: “Okay, we need you to walk over here and stand while we take an x-ray.”

Me: “You want me to what?”

Resident #2: “Walk over here and stand up long enough for us to get a good picture of your back.”

Me: “I’m not supposed to put any weight on my leg.”

Resident #1: “So, don’t.”

Me: “You want me to hop. Across the room. And then stand. For as long as you need.”

Resident #1: “Exactly.”

Me: “…I don’t think so.”

Resident #2: “Well, we have to get a picture of your back to see if the brace works.”

Me: “And you’re not going to get it that way because I’m going to be flat on the floor. Every time I stand up, I pass out.”

(At this point, I look at the x-ray table and have a thought.)

Me: “Does that table tilt?”

Resident #2: “Yes.”

Me: “Then why don’t we put me on there, raise it as far as I can stand, and adjust the x-ray parallel?”

Resident #1: “That’s silly.”

(Several minutes pass, in which I continue to refuse to hop one-legged across the room.)

Resident #2: “I’ve got it! We’ll put her on the table and tilt it!”

Resident #1: “Brilliant!”

(Despite warning them again to raise the table slowly, they residents raised it straight to vertical right off, and were surprised when my blood pressure plummeted and I passed out! Resident #2 actually scolded me for causing an inconvenience!)

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