Their Argument Doesn’t Have Squat

My local gaming store had a huge problem with “squatters”: people that hung out in the store all day without buying anything. They were rude and entitled, and they took up table space meant for gameplay.

On this day, I was at the store for a card game tournament. We had a lot of people participating, so we needed every seat at every table. But the squatters wouldn’t move.

Owner: “Hey, guys. We have a lot of people here for the tournament and need every available chair. If you are not in the tournament, I need you to vacate the gaming tables.”

All but one of them obliged.

Squatter: “But I was here first. Why do I need to move?”

Owner: “Because they paid to be here.”

Squatter: “I paid to be here, too. Did you forget the $5 I spent today?”

Owner: “They paid $25 to be here and about half of them bought merchandise. You’ve been here eight hours, so you got your five dollars’ worth. Now either vacate the tables or leave.”

Squatter: “Why? Because I’m poor and can’t afford $25?”

Owner: “You’re not poor. You’re cheap. Now either leave or I’m calling the cops.”

The squatter hung around a few more minutes to gripe but finally left when the owner picked up the phone. We had a lovely tournament and the squatters eventually sought life elsewhere.