Theaters Don’t Come In Isolation Mode
A customer walks up looking a little frustrated.
Customer: “Is there a way to book a seat that isn’t near… other people?”
Me: “Well, we do have assigned seating. You can pick something near the back or the edges, those tend to be less crowded.”
Customer: “Right, but I mean like… a seat with a buffer. Like, no one next to me at all. Guaranteed.”
Me: “I can suggest one with empty seats around it right now, but once people buy tickets, it could fill in.”
Customer: *Sighs.* “Can I speak to the manager?”
The manager steps in, and the customer tries to get a different response out of him.
Manager: “Sir, the only surefire way for you to guarantee no one else is in the theater with you is to rent out the entire theater, for [price].”
Customer: “Okay, fine.”
Manager: “Happy to help, sir—”
Customer: “—Does [Department Store] across the parking lot sell cologne?”
Manager: “Uh… I believe so.”
Customer: “What’s the strongest cologne? Do you know?”
Manager: “Sir… you can’t isolate yourself in the theater by dousing yourself in a strong cologne.”
Customer: *Angry.* “Well then maybe I’ll just smear s*** all over myself then!” *Storms out.*
Manager: *To me.* “If you see him coming back in with a ticket, could you… uh… uhm…”
Me: “Sniff test?”
Manager: “Yeah… Asking that sounds like an HR violation, but…” *Shrugs.*
Thankfully, he did not come back.
