The Yardstick To Measure Suitable Punishment

(For some reason, kids who use our restrooms think it’s great fun to go into a stall, lock it from the inside, and crawl out under the door, leaving the stall empty and locked. We’ve found the easiest way to solve the issue is to use a yardstick to nudge the lock open through a gap in the wall of an adjacent stall. During a routine bathroom check I find a locked stall, and I go to the back room.)

Me: “Has anyone seen the yardstick? There’s a locked stall in the bathroom.”

Coworker #1: “It’s back here, behind my desk.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Coworker #2: “Um, why do you need a yardstick for the bathroom? Is it to open the door?”

Me: *slightly sarcastic* “No, I’m going to hunt down the kid who did it and use this to spank him.” *waves yardstick*

Boss: *at the fax machine, where I haven’t noticed her until now* “…WHAT?!”

(I hadn’t even realized the boss was there, and spent a minute stumbling over myself to assure her I wouldn’t spank the kid. Thankfully she has a sense of humor and laughed about it, but it goes to show to be careful cracking jokes at work!)