The Worst Type Of Customer Is A Lumbering A**

(My hardware store has a regular customer who not only picks up garden and plumbing items for his work, but buys things for his own projects. It turns out he is not such a nice person, because every time I interact with him he looks a bit exasperated, especially if he’s brought up some unmarked plumbing pipe that I have to figure out the SKU for. Lumber items are typically not marked, so a person comes up with a loading slip with the SKU on it, and most of the time people have to drive around back to pick it up, but wood sheet items do get hauled through the store. It is my last day in that store. The regular comes to my register with some items and a sheet of plywood.)

Me: “Is this on the account, or your own project?”

Customer: *activating superiority complex* “It’s for me; just get it over with.”

(I scan everything and enter the SKU from plywood’s load sheet. The register spits out ticket to pick up plywood. Out of course of habit, I say:)

Me: “Here’s your receipt and your ticket to go around back to get the lumber.”

Customer: *tilts plywood up* “It’s a good thing that I’m honest, because you’re not too bright. I already have the plywood.”

Me: *stunned for three seconds, then find my words* “Sir, today is my last day in this store, and I’d like you to know it’s been a pleasure working with you.”

Customer: “No, it hasn’t.” *leaves*

(And off he went. He was right about that last point, of course.)