The Worst Possible Way To Spend Your Lunch Break

, , , | Romantic | CREDIT: redheadedsidhe | July 20, 2021

I have just been hired by a new online bank. A man calls in to sort out something on his bank account, and I fix it for him with no problem.

Man: “Can we do the same thing on my wife’s account?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. That’s your wife’s personal account; you don’t have access.”

The man is upset by this and tries to argue me into breaking the law for him.

Man: “It’s my wife! We share money; what’s hers is mine! And besides, she’s right here next to me!”

Me: “Since your name is not on the account, you can’t make any changes to it or access any information about it. I’m very sorry for the inconvenience. Your wife can call in or use our online chat at any time, but she has to be the one to do it.”

The man is frustrated but eventually gives in.

I start to sign off, happy to get to lunch on time, when suddenly, I am interrupted.

Man: “Wait, how old are you?”

Me: “I don’t see how that’s relevant, sir. If there’s nothing else I can do for yo—”

Man: “You sound young, like a gorgeous young woman.”

Me: “Sir, this is a business line. I am at work.”

Man: “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

Me: “Sir—”

Man: “I can make it worth your while. I have plenty of money to spend on a pretty little thing like you!”

Please note that there is under £150 in his account at the moment, which just makes this funnier.

Man: “I love spoiling girls like you. I’ll give you my number.”

Me: “The bank already has your number; you are calling in from it.”

Man: “Here, take this down; my number is [phone number].”

Me: “I can see your number; it’s attached to the bank account. I won’t be calling you, sir. I am at work, and I can’t take any private customer information home.”

Man: “Nobody has to know. It can be our little secret.”

I don’t say it, but I am wondering about the wife who is “right beside him, agreeing to let him access the account” and what she thinks of all this.

Man: “Come on, you know you want me. Any girl like you wants to be spoiled by someone like me. Come on, baby girl.”

I eventually got him to hang up, but half my lunch break was taken up.

It’s also worth noting that a few months later, he emailed in with a legitimate concern, but the email had two attachments. One was ID, which we needed to make the change, and the other was a d**k picture.

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