The Worst Kind Of Bubble Butt

| Working | November 3, 2015

(My coworker used to work in the quality office of a factory that makes big brand cleaning/disinfecting wipes. A call came through her phone from a customer.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling Factory Quality. This is [Coworker].”

Customer: “You sold me faulty wipes! They don’t work and they made my baby’s butt bubble!” *a baby’s shrill screaming can be heard in the background*

Coworker: *alarmed* “I… I’m sorry, ma’am… Your baby’s bottom is bubbling? You should call 911!”

Customer: “NO! This is YOUR fault! What are you gonna do for me?!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you need to hang up and dial 911! These are NOT baby wipes! It even says it on the back of the can. If you could find our office number, then you also saw the warning label which reads ‘This is NOT for personal use. Keep out of reach of children. Using these wipes in a manner inconsistent with its intended purpose is a federal crime.’ Now please, hang up and dial 911!”

Customer: *garbled choking and screeching* “I’m gonna sue y’all for hurting my baby!” *slams phone down*

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