The World Isn’t Bready For This Customer
Customer: “I want to return this bread. It’s supposed to be fresh, but the expiration date listed was a week ago! It’s starting to grow mold!”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Let me take a look.”
I see that the printed date did, in fact, pass over a week earlier, and that the bread does seem to have some mold growing.
Me: “Hmm, that shouldn’t happen. If you could show me your receipt, I’ll process a refund.”
The customer hands me a receipt that does have the bread — brand and all — on it, but I notice the receipt is over two months old.
Me: “Ma’am, this is over two months old.”
Customer: “But the bread is expired!”
Me: “Ma’am, this kind of bread is good for about a month. If you had eaten it as soon as you bought it, it wouldn’t have made it to the expiration date.”
Customer: “But I wanted to eat it yesterday, and it was moldy! It should wait for me to want to eat it!”
Me: “Unfortunately, leaving bread out in the open doesn’t do much for its preservation. Next time, you could try putting it in the freezer.”
Customer: “No! You should make it so the bread stays fresh forever!”
Me: “Ma’am, that isn’t biologically possible.”
Customer: “Why not?!”
Me: “Because I’m not God.”
Several minutes later, a manager came over to see what the fuss was about. Naturally, he refused the refund.
This story is included in our Philippines roundup – part of the Not Always Right World Tour!
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Question of the Week
Tell us your story about a customer who couldn't understand the most simple concept.