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The Windows Are Open But No One Is Home

, , , , | Romantic | CREDIT: FinancialElephant5 | July 23, 2021

After work one day, I stopped by the store to get some stuff for dinner. I had gotten little sleep the night before, and I accidentally locked my keys in my car. They had fallen out of my purse, or I thought I put them in my purse; I honestly don’t know how I did it. I am surprised I got to the store.

My car windows were up completely, so there was no way of somehow jamming something in there to unlock it. However, I had a spare key at the apartment, so I called my boyfriend.

Me: “Hey, I accidentally locked myself out of the car. Can you bring me my spare car key?”

Boyfriend: “How did you even do that?”

Me: “I honestly don’t remember — something involving my purse. Can you bring me my car key please? I’ll get you Pop-Tarts.”

Boyfriend: “Just unlock your car.”

Me: “I can’t. My keys are locked in the car.”

Boyfriend: “No, you can unlock it. Just stick your hand through the window and unlock it.”

Me: “No, I can’t. My window is up.”

Boyfriend: “Get a coat hanger.”

Me: “I can’t. My window is completely up. There is absolutely no way I can get anything through my window.”

Boyfriend: “Yes, you can. Just stick your hand through the window and unlock it!”

I honestly couldn’t believe I was actually having this conversation.

Me: “Listen to me very carefully. My window is completely rolled up, meaning there is no way for me to put my hand through the window and unlock it. There is no way to put a coat hanger through the window because the window, all the windows, are completely rolled up!”

Boyfriend: “Well, I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”

Me: “BRING. ME. MY. SPARE. CAR. KEY.”

Boyfriend: “WHY?!”

I honestly thought he was messing with me, but he really sounded aggravated and like I wasn’t understanding him at all.

Me: “I will tell you later. Please bring me my spare car key from the apartment. Please.”

Boyfriend: “Okay, fine. I don’t see why you need it.”

I hung up, completely frustrated. I went inside and got my shopping done. I saw [Boyfriend]’s car pull into the store’s parking lot and headed outside to meet him. He handed me my spare key.

Me: “Come here, [Boyfriend].”

Boyfriend: “Ooooh, am I going to get a kiss?!”

No.

Me: “Look into my car, [Boyfriend].”

He looked into my car.

Me: “Do you see my keys in there, [Boyfriend]?”

Boyfriend: “Yes?”

Me: “Try to get them out, [Boyfriend].”

He tried to open my car door. It was locked.

Boyfriend: “I can’t; it’s locked.”

Me: “Try to get them out without my spare car key.”

He then proceeded to look for a window crack. There was none.

Boyfriend: “I can’t. There isn’t a way to stick my hand or anything in there to unlock.”

I stared at him. He didn’t understand why I was staring at him.

I handed him my spare key and told him to show me how to get the car keys out now. He then unlocked the door, rolled down my window, locked the car, shut the door, and then reached his arm through the OPEN window and unlocked it.

Boyfriend: “See, like that. Unlock it like that!”

At this point, I had such a massive headache from him not understanding why it was literally impossible for me to do any of that that I just put the groceries into my car, got into my car, and drove home.

That night at home, he asked if I was mad at him.

Me: “I wouldn’t say mad. I’m more… frustrated… annoyed… tired… baffled.”

Boyfriend: “Well, I can understand, especially if you couldn’t simply unlock your door like I showed you today.”

I went and got high after that.

Two weeks later, we decided to go to the downtown area for our date night. Before heading downtown, we had to get gas. I was waiting in his car when he rolled down his window and unlocked it from the outside by sticking his arm through THE OPEN WINDOW.

Boyfriend: “Seeee, like that. Next time your keys are locked in your car, unlock it like that.”

He later brought it up to my mom at dinner. She also tried to explain to him why his idea wouldn’t work AT ALL, but he was determined to make sense of it, when he couldn’t because the f****** WINDOW WAS ROLLED UP.

That was two years ago. I am still very much dating him; in fact, we are engaged now. I love him deeply; he is a good man. He just happens to be an idiot.

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