The Wide Bride Divide

(A high school friend of mine has promised that two other friends and I that we would be her bridesmaids if she got married. A short time later she gets engaged. She chooses one of the three of us to be her maid of honor, but the other two of us are not chosen to be bridesmaids.)

Friend: “[Bride], I don’t want to be rude, but you had promised [Me] and I that we could be your bridesmaids. Did we do something wrong?”

Bride: “No. I just could only pick so many bridesmaids, and so I had to narrow down the list.”

Friend: “I understand. I’m just kind of wondering why you promised [Me] and I we could be in your wedding party and then didn’t choose us.”

Bride: “I was afraid you’d embarrass me.”

Me: “What!? Us? Why?”

Bride: “You two are skinnier than I am. You’d make me look like a whale coming down the aisle, and it’s MY day! [Maid Of honor] is bigger than me, so she’s okay.”