The Whole Thing Is A Set Up

| Romantic | June 6, 2012

(I’ve found some people treat retail clerks the way others treat bartenders: as some kind of free informal therapy. I am serving a middle-aged woman customer.)

Me: “Did you find everything you need today?”

Lady: “I did, thanks! I had to get some new shirts, as I gained some weight. It’s been a stressful time.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Glad you could find everything you needed.”

Lady: “You’re so sweet! My son is really sick right now, he had meningitis and developed complications. He had a stroke and has been in the hospital since the summer.”

Me: “Wow, that’s terrible. I hope you’re all okay.”

Lady: “He’s going to be fine, physically. But he’s pretty depressed right now. Just after it happened, his fiancée dumped him.”

Me: “Uhm…”

Lady: “We should have seen it coming, when she didn’t want to see him in the hospital and decided to go shoe shopping instead.”

Me: “That’s awful, but you’re right, that’s a pretty bad attitude to have.”

Lady: “I just feel so bad for my son, poor guy. He’s so nice and funny. He deserves to have a nice girl in his life. He’s such a nice guy, you know? He’s 27 and has so much to offer. Especially a woman. He’s a real gentleman. Wouldn’t you love to meet a real gentleman like that?”

Me: “…I already have a boyfriend.”

Lady: “God d*** it! Why are all the pretty girls taken? Are you sure you don’t want to meet him? He’s so sweet and he’s really lonely. You could go get coffee and talk!”

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