The Weekend Is No Longer Your Safety (Fish)Net

(I work at a retail store aimed at teens, with a bit of an alternative, somewhat goth style. My coworker was checking out an older white-haired gentleman when a young girl walks in.)

Gentleman: *turning around* “Oh, [Girl]! It’s nice to see you!”

Girl: *obviously shocked* “Oh, um, hi, um, Mr. [Gentleman]. How are you?”

Gentleman: *cheerful* “I’m fine. I’m fine. Just out running some errands.”

(The man gestures to his purchases, and the girl’s eyes go even wider.)

Gentleman: “So I’ll see you Monday?”

Girl: “Uh- yeah, s-see you.”

(The gentleman leaves the store, and the girl all but collapses at my counter.)

Me: “Are you all right, miss?”

Girl: “Yeah, I’m fine. But never have I ever thought I’d see my English teacher in here buying fishnets!”