The Wailing Shred

| Working | July 18, 2013

(We receive a new shredder. An e-mail is sent explaining how to use it, including pictures of the machine with arrows pointing to each button to explain what they do.)

Coworker: “This stupid thing won’t work. It’s turned on at the wall, but the lights won’t come on! It won’t suck the paper in; can you look at it, like now?”

(My coworker starts shouting because I don’t run over to help her that very instant.)

Coworker: “I’m in SUCH A RUSH!”

(I come over. My coworker is practically having a fit: waving her arms around, and starting to squeal at the shredder. I have to pull my best poker face and half turn away, as I immediately see what the problem is.)

Me: “You need to turn it on.”

Coworker: “It is turned on at the wall. HELP ME!”

Me: “It’s the large grey button on the front.”

Coworker: *blank stare*

Me: “The one with the ‘on’ symbol; the circle with the line at the top.”

Coworker: “YAY!”

(She practically screams as she pushes the button and the lights flash on. The ‘on’ button is about the size of your palm, on the front of the machine, and is right next to where the paper goes in.)

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