The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Content Warning: Gross Content

A truly awful woman and her two mischievous children have just ordered some meals. She has been verbally abusive, entitled, impossible to please, and generally just everything that’s wrong with society wrapped in a clichéd soccer mom skin.

Her kids have been playing around outside after barely touching their meals, while she is on the phone. They come back in and up to the counter, giggling while disgorging the contents of their hands onto my counter: about half a dozen writhing caterpillars.

They are obviously expecting to get some kind of reaction out of me, but I am not going to give them the pleasure.

Me: “Oh, lovely! More meat for our burgers!”

The boys looked disappointed for a moment, but then they got another evil glint in their eyes. They ran back over to their mom, who was still enthralled with her phone call, and started playing with the food. Specifically, her food.

The mom eventually enjoyed her burger while the boys just watched with glee.

As did I.