The Vapor Has Parted

(We have a strict no smoking policy. E-cigarettes have been causing problems because they look like cigarettes from far away. We’ve been told to ask the guests to be discreet with them to prevent others thinking it’s okay to smoke but they usually get defensive and berate us anyway.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a no smoking environment. Please put that out now.”

Woman: *immediately yelling* “This is an e-cigarette! It’s not smoke! You have no right—”

Me: “I see. Ma’am, I still have to ask you to conceal it because it looks real and we can’t have people thinking it’s okay to smoke around the kids.”

Woman: “It’s not smoke! It’s vapor! You can’t do this!”

(She walks away, still yelling. A little while later she comes back.)

Woman: “I just wanted to apologize to you. You were right. I didn’t even think about what the kids would think seeing me smoking. I’m sorry.” *she walks away*

Me: *to my coworker* “I’m awake, right?”