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The Ups And Downs Of The Hotel Biz

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Mastervodo | July 11, 2021

I work in a hotel. At around 2:00 am, I get a call from someone looking to make sure we have rooms and to get rates and payment options. About ten minutes later, he shows up. I start processing the room and he gives me his credit card and ID.

Guest #1: “Is it okay that my ID is expired?”

I didn’t notice until he said this.

Me: “I use your photo and the other information on your ID to make sure the credit card is yours and that you are who you say you are. You are clearly the same person you were when the ID expired, and that’s the name on the credit card, so we’re good.”

He is relieved. He gets a quick call from the girl in the car outside.

Guest #1: “Can I put $50 cash down on the room?”

Me: “No, actually, we don’t accept cash, just credit cards.”

I think he kind of expected that, because he nods and says that’s all right. We have some minor back and forth chit-chat, and then he asks:

Guest #1: “Do you accept tips?”

Me: “Sure!”

He gives me the $50 cash.

Me: “Are you sure? This much?”

Guest #1: “Yeah, it’s all good.”

Me: “Well, that certainly is worth an upgrade!”

I upgrade him to a suite on the first floor, away from everyone else. I hope that impresses the lady friend tonight.

That puts me in a good mood. Two hours later… good mood gone.

I get a call from another guest asking about an “early bird special” that apparently “all” the other [Hotel Chain] hotels do for him. The only early bird specials I’ve ever heard of were at the local truck stop cafe back in the little village I grew up in, so I have no idea what he was talking about.

Guest #2: “Since right now is Saturday, I want to check in and stay until Sunday noon.”

Oh, he’s one of THOSE idiots who don’t know how hotels work! So, I explain to him the realities of the situation.

Me: “I do have rooms and you could check in right now, but you would need to check out at noon today and you’ll be charged a full night’s rate.”

And then he keeps arguing with me! As if I’m going to change my mind and fall for his little scam! I get to use all of the phrases I usually use for this class of customer.

Me: “No, sir, that’s not how hotels work.”

Me: “Earliest check-in for Saturday wouldn’t be until after noon.”

Me: “Yes, I do think charging full price for eight hours is fair. If you want more time in the room, you shouldn’t wait until 4:00 am to check in!”

Me: “I’ve worked at this location for seven years, and I’m sure we’ve never done that before.”

Me: “I’ve been working in hotels in over a dozen brands for over twenty-five years. If there is an expert on how hotels work here, it’s me.”

He finally hangs up, but not ten minutes later, he’s back with a new argument.

Guest #2: “I see that I can book a reservation online for the thirteenth, today. It says I can make the reservation, and it’s the thirteenth right now, so I should be able to check in because the website says I can make the reservation.”

Me: “Actually, the website also says on there that check-in time for that reservation is 3:00 pm. So, if you want to book it, go ahead, and we will see you at 3:00 pm. Look. You’re trying to get a free night, and it isn’t going to work. If you want a room, you have to pay for it.”

He finally gives up, after saying something like:

Guest #2: “You’re supposed to be a concierge and give better customer service! I won’t be staying there tonight!”

You got that right, buddy!

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