The Universe’s Geometry Is Flat (Screen)

I’m wheeling out a large TV to the parking lot. A customer waves me over, asking me to help them put the TV into their car. I immediately see a problem.

Me: “Sir, this TV isn’t going to fit.”

Customer: “You haven’t even tried.”

Me: “Sir, your car is a two-door Civic, and the box is physically taller than your entire car.”

Customer: “We can try diagonally?”

Me: “Sir, unless you open that car door and I see it’s actually a TARDIS, I’m not going to even attempt it. The store won’t let me. You, of course, are free to try yourself, but any damage caused to the TV by you in doing so is not covered by the store.”

The customer looks at the TV, at the car, at me, at the TV, and at the car again.

Customer: “Could you tie it to the roof?”

I walked away at that point.

I later found out he begrudgingly paid for the store to deliver it.