The Ultimate Rage Quit

I work in a government office (city education). A coworker who has been brought on as a contractor to upgrade our tech comes over to me in the office. We’ve built up a semi-informal repartee in the office.

Coworker: “So, you know those leaving drinks you were going to organize for me next month?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Coworker: “Cancel them. They’ve just offered me a permanent position.”

Me: “Oh, awesome! How come?”

Coworker: “Last week, one of the guys being replaced by the system upgrade was told he was being let go, and he had until the end of the day to put his things in order. I have no idea why that database administrator was given free rein like that after being told he was fired… but he either deleted or added slurs to the records of about five hundred children in the city database and then sabotaged the backups.”

Me: “The h***?! And it’s your job to fix it?”

Coworker: “Yeah, to fix it and to detail the damage for the criminal case they’ll be bringing against him, but hey, job security for me!”

Me: “I get it’s gonna take a while, but how is fixing the damage going to be a permanent position?”

Coworker: “They want someone around who’s trained to fix future embarrassing emergencies. I mean, if you saw some of the things he renamed some of those kids… well… I’d hire me too!”