The TV Isn’t The Only Thing Turned On

(I am on the front desk during the night shift. While checking in a guest is a little too excited about me being a woman. It is about three am and his room calls.)

Me: “Front desk. How can I help you?”

Guest: “Can you, umm, come up and fix my TV?”

Me: “What appears to be the problem?”

Guest: “It just isn’t turning on.”

Me: “I’ll see what I can do.”

(I send up one the more experienced on-hand staff to take a look, but I get I another call not five minutes after.)

Me: “Front desk—”

Guest: “YOU SENT A MAN UP TO MY ROOM!”

Me: “He is the most capable to handle your problem.”

Guest: “I WANTED YOU! YOU COME UP! NOW!”

Me: “I cannot, sir, as I am managing the front desk tonight and cannot leave it.”

Guest: “F*** you!”

(I hang up. He calls back, screaming expletives, and I hang up again. By his third or fourth attempt the staff I sent up walks past me. He is white as a ghost.)

Me: “What happened?”

Staff: *turning to me* “WHO ANSWERS THEIR DOOR NAKED?!”

(We both laugh, but the gravity of the situation hits me.)

Staff: *clocking on* “You allowed to kick him out?”

Me: “I guess so. I’ll check the CCTV first, though.”

(The CCTV showed the guy answering the door, in all his glory with a very much erect penis. At this I finally answered his calls and warned him, through his screams, that it had been decided that he must leave, and if he didn’t of his own accord, security would do it for him. The calls stopped, but after half an hour he didn’t show up. I called security. They were down with him within five minutes. He was still naked and screaming expletives. They threw him out and he was left to dress outside the hotel. Once dressed he flipped us off and stormed off. A week later the manager questioned me about a complaint he made. After seeing the CCTV and call history, he was promptly banned from the hotel.)