The Tow-tal Wedding Package

, , , , | Hopeless | August 28, 2016

(After my wedding, my wife and I, both women, go horseback riding. We don’t have a car, so we borrow my mom’s. Riding is great, but as we’re driving home, the car STOPS and won’t turn on again. We’re literally in the middle of nowhere. My cell phone, naturally, is dead. We haven’t seen any other cars on the road. We don’t see any choice but to walk back to the stable to call for help.)

Me: “I have to pee.”

Wife: “So go pee by the side of the road.”

Me: “You know that the second my pants are down, someone is going to drive by.”

(Predictably, a car drives by while I’m peeing, and it stops to check on us. We explain the situation, and he calls us a tow truck. My wife and I are freaking out — not only is the car dead, but we’re more than an hour away from our city, and we have NO money on us. All the money we have in the world is at home, in cash form, to pay for our [modest] honeymoon. The tow truck driver arrives.)

Driver: “So, you’ve got two options: I can tow the car to [Closest Town] and you can have them look at it in the morning, but you’d have to spend the night there, or I can tow you back to [City we live in].”

(We don’t have money for a hotel, so we have no choice but to get towed all the way home. We’re dreading how expensive it’s going to be. My wife and I have a silent conversation with our eyes — do we tell the guy that it’s our wedding day in hopes that he’ll give us a discount so we can still afford our honeymoon or not? The worst case scenario is he’s a bigot and he leaves us stranded by the highway or kills us. Finally, we decide.)

Me: “Thank you so much for the ride. We really appreciate it. It’s actually our wedding day…”

(Not only did he give us a discount, he drove us home after we dropped off the car! Our honeymoon was lovely. Thank you, tow truck driver, and man who called him for us!)

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