The ‘Til Undeath’ Virus Is Spreading

(My father has been stocking up for a zombie apocalypse. He has a piece of land with a few acres and a trailer, a stockpile of food, and various military-type survival things. In addition, we have always joked I’d be the first zombie; because I can open my mouth very wide like the ‘I Am Legend’ zombies. We are discussing his survival plan.)

Dad: “…and of course, I have a cage built and ready for you.”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Dad: “Well you know you’ll be the first zombie, because you’ve got the I Am Legend face.”

Me: “So, you’re not going to kill me? You’re going to cage me up?”

Dad: “Yeah, until we find a cure. Until then I’ll just feed you people who irritate me.”