The Thought Of Marriage Makes Them Sick

(My family has just planned a ‘family photoshoot’ in honour of my parents’ anniversary. I’m discussing this with my boyfriend, with whom I rent an apartment.)

Boyfriend: “So I guess I’m not invited?”

Me: “I’m not sure…”

Boyfriend: *jokingly* “What, am I not part of the family yet? Will they wait until we’re married?”

Me: *laughing* “Yes, I think that’s it.”

Boyfriend: “Well, what more do they want? We share a bathroom! Hell, we’ve both puked in the same toilet. That’s about as married as you can get!”