The Terminator Orders A Sandwich

I’m doing my thing, working my usual evening shift at a sandwich chain, when a woman comes in. I put my game face on.

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Sandwich Chain]! How may I help you?”

The woman doesn’t respond and proceeds to stare at the menu for a very long time… rather inquisitively for ordering a sandwich.

Okay, challenge accepted. I wait patiently as she mutters several times about not knowing what to order. Command from on high says to offer our promotional sandwich to uncertain customers.

Me: “Might I recommend the [Deluxe] sandwich?”

The customer goes from zero to one hundred instantly.

Customer: “I’ll order what I want to order! Give me time! Respect your customers more!”

Me: “Okay. Take your time, then.”

The store isn’t too terribly busy, but I do end up helping several customers while she stares at the menu. Another ten minutes later — believe it or not, I was able to time her staring contest with our menu at a full twenty minutes — she finally decides to order.

Customer: “I’ll have the [Deluxe] with lettuce, onions, and tomatoes. Oh, and don’t forget the olives! If you forget the olives, I’ll be making a complaint! Did you get all that?!”

Me: “Yes.”

I start making the sub. I get the bread out to begin and look up to see her walking out the door.

Me: “Ma’am? You forgot your sub… and to pay me…”

She goes from zero to one hundred again.

Customer: “I’ll be back for it later! I’ve got errands to run and I can’t wait for my food to be cooked!”

Aaand she leaves. Now, as most people would know, sandwiches in most of these types of chains are made in front of you, and we have to make them in under two minutes or we’re penalized. Our sandwiches aren’t cooked but may be toasted, which takes only about fifteen more seconds. We are NOT an order, leave, and pick up later type of restaurant. You can imagine my manager’s confusion when I tell him what happened.

I stare down at the sliced bread in my hands.

Me: “So… um… do… do I just make the sandwich and then wait?”

Manager: “I… I don’t know. Do you think she’s actually coming back?”

Me: “She said she was.”

Manager: *After thinking for a few seconds* “Skip it. We don’t know how long she’s going to be gone, and I have nowhere to stick a sandwich for God knows how long it will take her to come back. I’ll handle her rage if she gets mad about it not being made.”

Sure enough, she’s gone for two hours, and we’re now into the dinner rush with a line. I’m slaying it, with my manager in the thick of it helping me out.

The woman storms past the entire line.

Customer: “I’m back. Where’s my sandwich?! It had better be hot or I’m not paying for it!”

My manager and I just give her the double poker face. It doesn’t take much for the manager to cotton on to who this lady is.

Manager: “The end of the line is over there. You can wait your turn and put your order in like the rest of these people, or you can get your food elsewhere.”

Yet again, she hits one hundred.

Customer: “You didn’t even make it yet?! I’m not paying for this! I ordered two hours ago and you worthless f***s didn’t even get started cooking it?! I should sue you all for making me wait longer for my food!”

Manager: “We don’t cook our sandwiches. If you wanted your sandwich fresh, you should have stayed to receive it when it was made. As of now, you can get to the back of the line or get out of my restaurant!”

Customer: *Making enraged noises* “You people are so rude to your customers!”

She stormed out. My manager apologized to the line, but nobody really batted an eye. Our tips were really good from that line, and one teen complimented [Store] for providing a show to go with her meal.