The Ten Doctors Versus The Ten Commandments

(I order my food, and I sit down and start watching an episode of ‘Doctor Who’ on my smartphone with my headphones. Another customer taps me on the shoulder. I turn around to see a girl in her late teens.)

Customer: “Is that Doctor Who?”

Me: “Yeah, are you a fan?!”

Customer: “No! I am asking you to shut it off!”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “Because my church says that Doctor Who is evil, and I am asking you to shut it off.”

Me: “Umm, no, I am not turning it off. Besides, I have my headphones in, so you don’t have to watch it.”

Customer: “No, you have to respect my views and turn it off! It’s against my religion; it’s evil! Now turn it off!”

(The customer grabs for my phone. I pull my phone away before she can grab it.)

Me: “Don’t touch my phone!”

Customer: “Doctor Who is evil! They are trying to brain-wash our young minds! They want us to support gay marriage and be atheist!”

Me: “Well, if you really did understand Doctor Who, you would have seen that the Tenth Doctor was talking about Christmas, and he said that he was there when Jesus was born. Also the Doctor is very open-minded; he would save you even if you did call him evil.”

Customer: “DOCTOR WHO IS EVIL!”

(The customer continues screaming and cussing and eventually gets herself kicked out. Afterwards, one of the restaurant’s workers comes up to me.)

Worker: “Sorry about that.”

Me: “It’s okay!”

Worker: “Best Doctor?”

Me: “Four, duh!”

(We then high five, and I go my way.)