The Teacher Is Prehistoric

, , , , , | Learning | June 25, 2018

(Tiny me was a huge dinosaur nerd, something I never quite outgrew, unlike most kids. In the fifth grade, we have a substitute teacher who is impressed with my dinosaur knowledge, so she decides to ask me about it.)

Substitute: “What’s your favorite dinosaur?”

Me: “Allosaurus!”

Substitute: “You mean tyrannosaurus, right?”

Me: “No, I mean allosaurus.”

Substitute: “Allosaurus isn’t a real dinosaur. You must mean tyrannosaurus. All kids like tyrannosaurus.”

Me: “I don’t. I like allosaurus.”

Substitute: “I already told you, that’s not a real dinosaur, or it would have been in Jurassic Park!

(Yes, she said that.)

Me: “Yes, it is! There’s an entire rock formation full of them! It’s called the Morrison Formation! It eats one of your friends in Dino Crisis 2! There was one in Land of the Lost!

Substitute: “You’re clearly thinking of tyrannosaurus.”

(She wrote me up for talking back to her, and the teacher wasn’t too pleased when she found out that what I had done wrong was insist that allosaurus was an actual dinosaur and that tyrannosaurus was not my favorite. I’m not even sure why she thought allosaurus wasn’t a real dinosaur, since it’s one of the most well-known species and was discovered long before tyrannosaurus. About twenty years later, my favorite dinosaur is still the allosaurus, and I still think tyrannosaurus is overrated.)

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