The Tantrums Aren’t Always From Two-Year-Olds

Our store keeps a bunch of candies at the checkout to tempt shoppers at the last minute. It’s a lousy marketing trick but it works. Sadly, it’s designed to work on children, who then demand candy and can kick up a stink if they’re denied.

Child: “Mom, I want this candy!”

Customer: “Not now, dear. I can only afford what I am buying.”

Child: “Then put something back!”

Customer: “I’m not going to do that, [Child].”

The child initiates a tantrum, and the poor parent looks tired and like she wants to give up. While continuing to scan the items, I talk to the child.

Me: “Excuse me, little boy? You don’t want these candies, anyway; they’re made for babies. You’re not a baby, are you?”

Child: *Sniffs* “Nuh-uh. I’m a big boy!”

Me: *Still scanning* “That’s what I thought. A real big boy wouldn’t cry over some baby candy. A real big boy would eat the food his mommy buys and get even bigger!”

The boy thinks this over for a moment and then nods approvingly, although still staring at the candy occasionally. I turn to the mother.

Me: “I hope I didn’t overstep?”

Customer: “Not at all! You were very good. Are you a mother? How do you manage children so well?”

Me: “I work retail; compared to the bigger babies I deal with daily, young children are a walk in the park!”