The Talking Dead

| Romantic | June 4, 2014

(My boyfriend and I are putting our backpacks in the trunk of my new car.)

Me: *out of the blue* “So how many bodies do you think this trunk could hold?”

Boyfriend: “I don’t know… Three, maybe?”

Me: “I think you’d have to cut them up to get three in there. Then again if you cut them up maybe there’d be room for four. But that leaves evidence because of all the blood and DNA in the blood. Even draining the blood doesn’t guarantee every last drop is gone. So how many whole bodies would this thing fit?”

Boyfriend: “I still think it would fit three.”

Me: “But what if they’re in rigor mortis? I won’t have the ability to get them out!”

Boyfriend: “So wait to load them until they’re out of rigor. Line the trunk with a tarp and put two on the bottom and one on top.”

Me: “I think they’d fit, but how would removal go? Wouldn’t that be a problem?”

Boyfriend: “Well, you got them in there. I don’t see why you couldn’t get them out.”

Me: “This is why I need to dispose of them when they’re in rigor. It becomes a more self-supporting weight but I can only transport two at a time.”

Boyfriend: “That would make sense.”

Me: “Something tells me we’ve gone way too far with this conversation.”

Boyfriend: “You’re just NOW getting that vibe?!”

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