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The Sweet Taste Of Death

| Working | February 2, 2015

(My friend and I decide to stop at a popular local coffee shop known for their smoothies. My friend is waiting outside with our dogs.)

Me: “I’d like a large mango smoothie and a medium banana smoothie. Could you also please make sure the banana doesn’t touch any peanut products? My friend is allergic.”

Barista #1: “Certainly. It will be ready shortly.”

(Evidently the entire neighborhood had the same idea we did, so there’s a small wait for frozen drinks. While the baristas are busy making and taking orders, I quick pop outside to ask my friend something and check on my dog. By the time I come back in, our drinks are already made, but I notice something off about the color of my friend’s smoothie and decide to taste it before I bring it to him.)

Me: “Um, ma’am, this is a peanut butter banana smoothie. I asked for just banana because my friend is allergic. If he drank this, it would kill him.”

(The barista immediately goes pale and some of the chatter in the shop dies down. She immediately turns to one of her two coworkers, who evidently was the one who made the smoothies.)

Barista #1: “Did you put peanut butter in the banana smoothie?!”

Barista #2: “Yeah. They taste better that way. The regular banana ones are kind of bland.”

Barista #3: “You don’t do something like that! He’s allergic! He could have died!”

Barista #2: “Oh. Well, how was I supposed to know that?”

Barista #1: “She told us! I wrote it down on the slip so you knew! Didn’t you bother reading it before you made the drinks?!”

Barista #2: “How do you know she isn’t lying, though?”

Me: “Do you really want to chance that I might be lying about my friend having a life-threatening peanut allergy by giving him peanut butter because you think it tastes better?”

(The woman who took my order apologizes and remakes the smoothie personally, this time being careful to avoid any cross-contamination, and not only refunds the cost of it but also gives us a voucher for a free drink and cookie, and some water for our dogs. I explain to my friend what happened while we’re walking home.)

Friend: “Huh…she’s right though. It does taste a little bland. Maybe I should have taken the one with death in it instead.”

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