The Surprise Is Toast

(It’s the day before my Grandma’s birthday. I’m 5 years old. I’ve seen her present and been told very clearly that I can’t tell her what it is, but I want her to guess.)

Me: “It begins with a ‘T’, grandma. Can you guess what it is?”

Grandma: “Oh, I don’t know. A tea towel?”

Me: “No. It begins with a ‘T’.”

Grandma: “A T-shirt?”

Me: “No, grandma.”

(I decide to change the subject, albeit with child-like logic.)

Me: “You’ve always wanted a toaster, haven’t you?”