The Stationery Remains Stationary

Caller: “Hello, yes. I called to update my information. Why has my documentation not been updated with the changes?”

Me: “I see on your account you called yesterday with the updates. Did you not get the email we sent yesterday at 5 PM confirming the updates to your account?”

Caller: “Yes, I saw that! But I’m talking about my documentation! I’m looking at my statement on the table right now, and it’s still got the old information!”

Me: “Your statement, as in… a physical sheet of paper?”

Caller: “Yes! I gave you all of last night to change it, but this morning it’s still the same!”

I didn’t have the words to respond to that, so I just arranged for an updated statement to be posted out ASAP so that they would have a new sheet of paper to glare at instead of calling us asking why we don’t source our paper and ink from Hogwarts.